MINE

Pretty sure I'm drunk, current.
I was for sure drunk 2 hours ago when I finally stalked the thing that gives me a glimpse of my man.  And it for sure upset me as my sober and restraining self knew it would. 

It fuckin slaps me like nothing else. I don't even know why. 

It could have energy in it. Energy that tells me how wrong I am. 

I really don't know. 

If I'm compIetely honest it makes me angry. Like who the fuck does she think she is? Following him around...taking pics of him like you're his person or something. You're a fucking joke. 

That's what I want to say.  And what my legitimate gut reaction is.  

Isn't that bizarre? And so wrong? Seriously.  I realize this. 

We were married in a past life I assume. This must be true. This would explain our immediate connection and my overpowering jealousy/anger.  Because I do not feel off balance. If I were off balance I might be thinking about all the random little moments we shared and think they were a big deal. Or somewhere in my mind be thinking he is the one who will make my life all I have ever dreamed it would be. But I am not and do not think these things.  But when I see them together, even if it's just their cocktails sitting next to each other, I am overwhelmed with an urge to run, spit, and knock the fucking drinks over. 

WHAT IS THAT?  

He must know. He must feel what I feel.