Thursday, May 10, 2012

intuition or hormones

something doesn't quite feel right about nate.  when im with him, i am calmer.  i think ok, he's funny, charming, cute.  this is good.  but today, he's out of town, i dont really feel like he misses me, like we're faking this thing.  i just get a weird vibe.

is he reacting to me thinking he's not into me and thus pulling away or is my intuition telling me to let it go?  last week when i was out of town we were texting a lot, i was having fun, i liked where we were going.  this week something shifted.  a little bit friday when we slept together and afterward i asked if he was feeling guilty.  he says yes.  i say, hmmm, maybe i dont want to sleep with you anymore.  which i realize now could possibly make him feel insecure.  but whatever!  i want a man who can handle his insecurites and pursue me anyway.  so the other time i felt like something shifted was sunday night.  we spent the day together, it was really great.  i was crushing him, having a good time.  then i spend the night at his house for the first time and i say no to fooling around for the first time, he ends up getting up in the middle of the night to sleep in the other room cuz his "mind won't shut off."  next morning is fine...ish.  i feel like he's distant, this makes me uncomfortable.  i have felt weird ever since.  and thinking about dustin ever since.

ugh.

today i am tentatively planning to ask dustin on saturday if he ever finds himself wanting to spend time with me.  not as an invitation, just as a question.  we'll see if i do it.



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