Another drew?

I've had a crush on him for years.  off and on and nothing intense by any means.

he came around a couple of weeks ago and seemed to linger longer than he has for a while.  he then called and invited me to a wedding.  i was out of town.

so he came around this weekend again, said he'd call.  he did.  but we missed each other after efforts to meet up.

we decide to meet for beach time today.  he calls.  says he's hungover and gonna sweat it out and then call.  Three hours later he has not so i send him a message telling him I've made some plans, maybe another day.

maybe not.

I'm disappointed.  and if people weren't on their way over i might allow my emotions to well up and id cry.

i can mix feelings with "knowing" and logic and think/feel all these things at the same time.

fuck him.
this is why i didn't even want to offer to hang out or make myself available or fucking get excited about it. because i feel like he has done this like 5 times. and the most recent time i saw him i had no openness toward him...friendliness, yes, but the same openness, no.  because i had put it out there enough times and was over feeling rejected.
so then here he comes again.  i get my hopes up to spend my time with a beautiful interesting person and he doesn't even fucking call.
so stupid.