A new one!

I met a guy on a plane!  holy cow.

Talked for hours and I didn't want to leave when it was time.  i have seen him again!  This is pretty amazing. 

isn't it?  

i think hes beautiful.  he's got this squinty eyed smile and a salt and peppery beard and lots of hair.  (you have to take a moment to appreciate a man with a full head of hair when he's got one).  and he's kind and thoughtful.   and he has a major crush on me. 

he also has two kids.  from what ive seen of his relationship with them hes a great dad.  but SHIT, two kids?  nearly grown kids.  what the heck am i gonna do with that?

i cant decide if im pulling away from him because he's got two kids and i dont know what to do with that or for some other reason.  i can be so picky.  he texts me too much.  he's too cheesy via text.  he's too excited about me.  he's had a vasectomy.  ha.  

i dont know.  when im with him i just think hes the sweetest thing, and i want to know more.  and im attracted to him and love kissing him and love the way he touches me.  but its like he's got this whole other life that i dont really put myself in because it feels like a huge commitment and i have no idea how. and im moving.  and i dont want to live in omaha.  

i know i just met him and i dont have to commit to such things right now but his major crush on me (and maybe part of mine on him) makes me think of these things.  like, "wait a minute.  WHAT.  are we doing?"

i wish i just wanted to sleep with him and call it a day.  but i dont and i didn't and i haven't.  but i probably will.

or not.

im moody about the whole thing.  and i wish i wasn't.

but i am.  and i keep telling myself that these moods and these emotions are the guiding system of our lives and our intuition.  so if i am moody about it, maybe there's a reason.  thus, im taking it easy in the decision making department.

to end on a positive note, the whole thing is so cool no matter what.  i wrote a facebook post one year ago that said, "wanted:  a tall, bearded man who occasionally wears dark rimmed glasses whose tattoos may or may not show underneath his businessman attire.  seriously,  it's time."  well here he is.  (okay he's not super tall).  but he happens to be nicer and more thoughtful and doesn't make me wonder if he likes me or not.  

taking it for what it is...pretty wonderful.