Let's get real

what i want to say to you today is
you're fucking ridiculous.
how are you going to act like you've been wanting me for all this time and now you have me and you dont want to commit.  you want to date other people.
man fuck you.
you just want what you cant have.
acting like you're a good man and shit.  but you're just like everyone else. okay maybe you weren't acting, i just made up that you were.  flattered myself.  believed you loved me but really you just want the perfect woman.  and i am one aspect of her.  but not actually good enough to satisfy you.

maybe im so mad because i didn't want to commit before.  and i'm projecting.  my anger is really at myself for not being able to commit. and i want someone to do it for me.
commit to me.  be patient with me.  let me know you'll never leave and that you think i'm the coolest thing on the planet no matter what. and you'll wait until i think the same about you, too.  and even if i never think that you will always there...thinking that.  constant. solid.  patient.

maybe im projecting.  maybe i just want to you be a fucking man.  and mean what you say.  i believed you.  i believed you were head over heels.  that no one compared to me.  and today i feel like that was a lie.  i believed a lie.  maybe you even believed a lie.

WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE FUCKING MAN UP?  and say, SHIT! that girl.  i want HER.  I know it.  unwavering.  she's it.  she's mine.