holy weird dream

i overslept. just woke up and wanted to type this before i forget.
matt was there. we made out..in front of people. i was nervous and uncomfortable.
i had a tape recorder, my journal, it fell down a well-sort-of-thing and someone tried to help me get it out and it fell deeper. can't get it now. enter the little girl i think. little black girl.
anyway what i remember of her later, she was drinking a sierra nevada on the curb, and she's like nine, and she threw her bottle out into the street....not to be rude, but there was some beauty of creativity in the reason she did what she did. so it causes a car to crash, a young boy to be injured. noone is watching, she thinks she's the only one involved, but i see her react. i know shes afraid, but she's also diligent in trying to figure out what to do. she takes him upstairs to the hosipital, might have been an animal hospital and she somehow figures out his kidney is damaged. she decides she is going to make a kidney and put it in his body. she is not afraid at this point. she is confident. and im sort of confident with her. mystified. bc even though she isn't a certified surgeon i feel like there's something magic about her. she's got an aura that makes me feel like she's other worldly.(holy shit, i really think this is my little girl and me. or the situation with d and me) so she MAKES a kidney...something that LOOKS like one out of soggy bread. and then she goes around the hospital looking for supplies. when she gets back she puts the kid on the table...he's been wrapped up in sheet this whole time...and goes to cut. at this point i "come to," so to speak. i panic, "i can't do this. i can't watch. YOU cant do this. it's not going to work. it's not a fucking kidney! oh my god im sorry i can't witness this. you're being crazy. this isn't real!" i leave the room. sit in the other room, nervous, noticing that, wow, ive never panicked like that before. i can't believe i couldn't stay. and i can't believe i didn't just tell her to stop. that she was a child and this is NOT the way we do things. so i go back in the room after a bit and everything's all fucked up. kid is dying and she has brought in another little girl, blonde friend and has anestetized her to get her actual kidney i think. or made the blonder girl anestetize HER to get her kidney. eitherway, there's coding and waking up and it's a disaster. she tells me i have to perform the surgery. i'm like i cant i cant! in tears now i think, and i run around and get a real doctor. i know she's going to be mad and probably in trouble, but otherwise she was going to die.
in the end im back at her house with her family just sayhing hello to her mom and brothers and sisters, she says shes got medical bills out the wazoo but at least she didn't get charged for hurting this little boy for some reason. im nervous to see the little girl. she scares me now.
then i wake up.