i dont know if i will ever understand the thing that happens in my heart after he walks away.

the pain.

i dont understand what the pain is even about.  where did it come from?  how did it get there?  why does it stay?

it and he and we SERIOUSLY dont make sense.

i feel my love is not justified.  but my love is.

today i wanted to say this: does your heart ever feel like we belong together and yet we are not? and therefore do you feel the pain that i feel?  the kind whose definition and description is elusive and yet very, very clear?

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again i drink. and distract.  and know and hope.  and am okay.