Monday, April 9, 2012

save the day, please

my mom is coming today for an entire week.  i am so grateful, excited, hopeful.  i hope she can fix me. give me that free therapy that will take dustin out of my mind foreva.

why do i love him so?  i know i dont.  my brain is addicted and i cant make it stop. 

all suffering comes from denying what is.  he gave me five minutes and the market and i wanted 5 hours.  so i suffer. 

i suffer more because i dont understand how i can know as much as i know, and love as much and as many people as i do and still want to force a reality that is not and will not happen.  fucked up.

but totally loved jesus and was all happy yesterday.  and today i am again nuts.  that is why i am additionally fucked up.

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